I’m fine. It’s fine. IS IT THOUGH?

your values

Monday morning pep talk,

Put on an epic feel-good sound track (“Alepsa play feel good movie sound tracks”… trust me) and tune in to this:

Your values are YOURS and they are all valid.


Just because someone else thinks you’re being silly, over-dramatic, unnecessarily-emotional or “insert thing that makes you feel less than”, it doesn’t mean they are correct, or they even get a say.

How many times have you caught yourself saying “yes yes you’re right, it’s me, it’s ok, i’m fine”.

DO NOT SHUT YOURSELF DOWN LIKE THAT. You’re worth more. You deserve more.

It’s taken me decades to realise this. I’m sharing so it doesn’t have to take you decades.

Suppressing your values, your emotions, your thoughts or your beliefs for the sake of someone else’s peace is sacrificing your peace. Don’t do it.


Your peace is your number one priority.

Now there’s a line between honouring yourself and dishonouring another person, so be careful with that one.

But don’t go to “fine” if you or it is not fine.

Your best friends may mean well, your mom, even your coach… but they haven’t had your life experience.

Your life experience is uniquely yours and it’s beautiful. All of it. It needs to be understood and expressed to allow you to become who you were always meant to be.


Other people are welcome to share in your life experience but they don’t get to dictate it.

For example (I’m going to some deep places here):

  • Your best friend might think threesomes are no big deal and you shouldn’t be giving your man a hard time about it, but if sacred sexuality is important to you, if it’s one of your values, honour that babe!! Don’t succumb to other people’s projections. Own what’s good for you.
  • If your mom thinks investing in another coach when you’re not seeing ‘significant returns’ from the last one, but it’s important to you that you keep investing, do you boo… mom’s economic values are hers, you don’t have to adopt them.
  • If your doctor tells you you need to take a chemical drug which you intuitively feel isn’t good for you, listen to you. Even if everyone around you is telling you doctors know best, no one knows your body like you do.
  • If your entire family want you to go to a particular college because you’ve been offered a scholarship but you’re being drawn to a different city because your heart calls you there…. it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks is the sensible option, sensible is DOING YOU unapologetically and completely.
  • If your man is telling you you’re being silly and you should trust him. If he’s spinning a story back at you. If he’s making you shrink. RISE UP TALLER. Listen to your damn self. Nothing about you is silly or broken or acting from a place of trauma. You’re being YOU at this moment in time-space reality, and that is perfectly OK (as long as you’re not dishonouring you or him in that moment).
  • If your in-laws think you should get a proper job to provide for the family, but you know it will snuff your Soul light and spiral you back into depression, ignore the carpet-brushing… you have to honour you, you have to do you, that’s truly the best thing you can do for your family. In time they will see. But don’t let them push you because they value ‘secure jobs’ over soul-led mission. True abundance is in the soul-connection and expression.

Every human being on the planet has morals, values, and ethics. Some conscious and some unconscious.


For weeks I’ve been trying to put together the company ethos for Ask Harriette, especially in regard to supporting POC and LGBTQ+ and it’s been harder than I anticipated because I’ve been forced to look at how many values and morals I ride on that aren’t actually mine.

As women, we are conditioned to brush things under the carpet as “fine”. And our men are conditioned to not even look at what’s troubling them at all because that’s deemed ‘weak’.

The patriarchal paradigms of the past need to be dismantled for good. I don’t believe true abundance can exist in a patriarchal world, not for all of us anyway.

If you’re new here, you might not have heard but my Soul Mission is to bring the true meaning of abundance back to Planet Earth, and if that means tearing down all the shit inside and outside of you that keeps you trapped in ‘fine’, then I’m about to let rip. 


Come with me for the journey, and remember:







Got it? Go be you boo.

I love you

Harriette x


Posted on

June 29, 2020