OK that might be a little overdramatic for a Monday morning…
But dramatic is exactly where I was yesterday.
I haven’t been vulnerable or intimate with you for a while, and i’ll be honest now, I’ve had a really rough couple of weeks.
We had to sack the nanny. I’ve had to call in a million favours to help out with Ostara. She hasn’t exactly been enjoying seeing different people every day.
I had a shitty period (menstrual period). Sometimes I have good months, sometimes I have bad months. This one was a bad one, because I was holding so much pent up frustration in my flow. It happens. I’m a woman. A mother. A wife (to be). A coach. A Priestess. A friend. A sister. A daughter. An employer. A multi-business owner (which means being Ops Man, HR, Accounts, Tech, Vision, Marketing, Genius, etc etc). All the things.
I’ve been battling. Not asking for what I want. Allowing myself to go unfulfilled and unsupported. My bleed came (late) when I dealt with some of the pent up emotion, but there was still more, desperate to be released.
I sacrificed my well being because I was telling myself a story that without a nanny I wasn’t being fully supported and therefore I had to ‘diminish’ myself into a role of housewife and full time mother, which wouldn’t allow me to be the full-time Priestess I desire to be.
But of course none of that is true. All of life is an illusion. The only thing we know as true are the things we believe are true. And we can change our beliefs at will (hello Rich Mentality).
I took out my frustration on Stephen yesterday, and whilst he didn’t deserve it (to the men who deal with our PMS, know we love you really), he did coerce me into airing some utter bullshit which I’d been harbouring withIN mySelf.
Upon releasing all the anger and frustration, I fully witnessed the bullshit stories I’d been telling myself.
➡️Being a full time housewife and mother is not diminishing. It’s a fucking honour.
➡️Going through a transitional period without a nanny isn’t difficult, it’s a welcome challenge facilitating epic change.
➡️Screaming and shouting at Stephen isn’t the end of our marriage (before it’s even begun lol), it’s a welcome place to release all that does not serve me, in the arms of a man who loves me so utterly and completely I don’t think any amount of PMS would ever scare him off.
➡️➡️➡️And the biggest saving grace of all… the theme which runs through all of this… is my GIFT.
The GIFT I was given through my first numerology reading years and years ago (so long ago I can’t even remember exactly when it was).
I’m a gift 7.
In Priestess numerology this means my superpower is in my Aura; my capability to shine, glow, light up a room, be in my own light, alchemise the energy around me just by being me. My Aura also doubles as an energy shield, deflecting bullshit and all that does not serve me, and keeping me cocooned in high vibrations and Universal Love and Light.
Of course when I forget my gift (I am still human), my Aura breaks down and fall back into the victim status. But when I remember my GIFT, I light up so bright they can see me from god damn space.
So numerology… understanding who I am, and knowing what my default superpower is, to overcome any and all challenges… yeah that saved my marriage . It quietened my ego. It brought me back to my high vibrations and my Rich Mentality.
My gift means I’m a full time Priestess all day every day. AND I get to be, do and have, whatever the hell else I want too.
Want to know your gift? Want to help others know theirs? Want to communicate with the Universe in her language, the language of numbers?
The first class is in 48 hours!!
My love always