We really need to talk about this…
There’s an increasingly loud narrative in the industry calling out and cancelling cowboy coaches. The ones who make promises they can’t possibly (and don’t) fulfill. The ones who inflate figures & results and brazenly lie to deceive potential clients. The ones who apply high pressure sales strategies and have a zero refund policy.
As a result of this, we’re seeing an increase in ethics coaches, “ethical coaches”, and conversations around ethics.
The divide has shown itself yet again. The fight between good and bad, right and wrong, and specifically this time… ethical and unethical!
Here’s the Priestess Perspective:
Anything which lends itself to inequality, hierarchy, or division, props up the paradigm that women on both sides of the battle field are claiming to dismantle.
We all agree on the same thing…
We want a better world. And we want to make money (some more than others but the point still stands). And we want to have fun doing it.
There is one thing and one thing only that will create a better world: LOVE .
The rest… is invitational, optional, and often too personal to be considered a collective contributional endeavour.
Let me break this down further:
If you’re gaslighting & manipulating people into giving you money under false guarantees and illusionary promises, you’ve already separated yourself from them. You’ve created a divide.
If you’re calling out & cancelling coaches for doing exactly this, you’ve separated yourself from them. You’ve created a divide.
And you might go… yeah but H, we need to call this shit out. It’s bad and it’s wrong and it needs to stop.
And whilst I know many will want me to agree with them on this point, calling people out and cancelling people doesn’t fix the problem. It just creates more divides.
A divide at the end of the day is just a distraction. And we’re experts at this… creating problems to distract ourselves from the solution we should actually be focusing on. We live in a world of noise and distractions, and we’re in an era of justice (the year of 6) where every man and his dog (or in our case every woman and her coaching brand) wants to save the world from terror and threats.
Some of us do it in Loubies taking selfies in the YSL store with a fabulous cleavage. Some of us do it in sweats from the sofa wagging our self-righteous fingers at anyone who’s not doing it like us. And there’s a whole spectrum of realities between these two, as well as many other polarising demonstrations of “woman & her coaching brand”. None are good or bad or right or wrong. They’re all just individual expressions of who we are.
If you’re pointing at another woman, calling out her wrong-doings, tearing her down, cancelling her, and then using that as your own marketing to showcase how good you are… aren’t you just as “bad” as her? I suspect there’s a need to make others appear less than in order to make ourselves feel better than… hello hierarchy, superiority & divide.
It’s the same cycle of the same shit, just being reflected to us in a different iteration during a period of justice vs injustice.
There will always be duality. There will always be divide. There will always be things to fight about. There will always be an argument for right and wrong.
Engaging in that argument doesn’t solve the problem.
The so called “cult leaders” you’re naming and shaming are going to keep doing what they’re doing. They’ve got a cult (apparently), so their cult followers heads aren’t going to turn are they?
The women who are making “outrageous” sums of money are going to keep making outrageous sums of money. And many of the women you’re talking about are used to being called out by people who have decided they’re bad or wrong. They handle it. They keep going. And they’re going to keep going. Cancelling them doesn’t actually cancel them.
The influencer coaches who have “wild” beliefs around money and energy and spirituality really truly believe what they’re saying. They’re used to being on the edge of conventional thought paradigms. They’re used to being judged and questioned. They’ve probably experienced it much closer to home than any of us realise, so sharing their captions and tearing them to shreds is going to be like water off a ducks back for them. They’re not going to stop. They believe this stuff.
And the ethics coaches who firmly believe that they are doing the world a solid by shining a light on all that’s happening. They really believe in the work they’re doing. They’re insanely passionate about it. They can see the good they’re doing in the world, so they’re not going to stop either.
And the MLM dismantlers… they’ve had really shitty experience inside MLMs. That’s their experience, and they believe they’re doing really good things to prevent other people going into an MLM. They’ve got a following. They’ve got people validating their message. So they’re not going to stop, they’re going to keep going.
The passive aggressive battle will continue publicly with the naming and shaming, either directly or indirectly.
And behind the scenes, the legal battles will continue with people fighting their way out of unethical contracts, or fighting over a trademark, or bickering about who copied who.
And every single person will emerge from their experience believing they are a good and just person and that they’ve done the right thing. And this is what we really need to understand about humanity:
Everyone has an entirely unique human experience. It’s our experiences which create our beliefs and perspectives. It’s our beliefs that fuel our actions and aspirations. AND, we can’t possibly know the full extent of anyone’s human experience in order to critique, shame, and cancel their beliefs and their actions. It’s impossible. Most people barely understand their own human experience in order to understand why they think, believe and act the way they do.
So who the hell are we to judge another?
We might think we know what we’re looking at when we’re calling someone out for being shady, manipulative or gaslighting others (trust me, I’ve been on the brink of doing it myself several times in the last few months), but HOW… how can we possibly know what’s going on inside someone’s mind?
For all we know they genuinely believe they’re doing a good thing. They genuinely believe they’re in the right. They genuinely believe they’re a good person. This is SO nuanced, and complex, how can we possibly label something as bad or wrong?
From the Priestess Perspective I’d like for us all to consider if in labelling something bad or wrong we’re only doing it so that we can feel “right”? Because we’re so locked in to the programming of inequality, hierarchy, and superiority. And yet this is the very thing we’re all collectively fighting.
So, a suggestion for you… next time you’re about to pedestal yourself as better than someone else, either because you’re the ethical one, or you’re the most successful one, or you’re the only one leading a particular conversation, or you’re the humble one, or you’re the financially free one, or you’re the [insert thing which separates you and singles you out as an individual or part of a small elite group]… just consider for a second if you’re doing yourself, and us a solid by upholding the illusion of separateness, division & superiority, be that ethical superiority or financial superiority?!
AND… next time you share something, remember that what you do share is coming from your lived experience and your personal lens which is entirely unique to you, and so I invite you instead of issuing your words as a gospel directive, perhaps consider that what you put out there is simply an invitation for others to reflect on, and nothing more.
If we all started to share our messaging from a place of neutral consciousness, compassion, and (dare I suggest it) genuine love for all humans, even the ones who don’t think, believe and act in ways that you would choose for yourself, then maybe, just maybe, we might find ourselves engaged in far more nourishing & healing conversations where we all hold compassion, grace, and respect for each others growth journeys, life experiences, mistakes, successes, and unique perspectives.
And please… receive this as the Priestess of Light Perspective. The Harriette Jackson lens. An invitation to reflect. This is not a directive, a guide, or a gospel. These are just my thoughts and how I see the world. And on that note… I have faith in humanity. I love humans. We all make mistakes. We all get things wrong. We’re all here to learn. Some of us learn, some of us don’t. But attacking one another never achieved anything, and I say that just as much to the coaches who are shaming others for not investing shit loads of money, as I do to the coaches who are shaming others for doing exactly this. (And every iteration of behaviour in between which could potentially cause harm to another). Both are forms of attack. If you’re feeling attacked, consider that you’ve received a piece of information or a perspective as a directive rather than a reflection. You get to choose how you receive something. We’re all Sovereign. Don’t forget that.
My love always
P.S – If you’re interested in expanding your view of the world through the lens of the Priestess Perspective, The Way of The Priestess is now open on pre-sale for £888 with payment plans available.