Stop Victim Blaming Yourself

Darling, you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you, you’re not “doing it wrong”, there’s nothing you’re missing.

I love the self-development industry. It’s through the work I now teach that I found myself, and you!

I figured out who I am, what I love, and what makes me tick. I know my own buttons, and which wounds need extra TLC.

I’ve found purpose, passion, drive, motivation, and people! I’ve found friends in clients, lovers in my support team (my now husband), and sisters in my staff.

The self-development industry has given me SO MUCH, and I really do love it.

BUT. There’s a flip side. (Isn’t there always?)

What I’ve seen taking over in recent years is the idea that if we’re not multi-millionaires flying around in private jets doing absolutely sweet FA to earn the money that facilitates such luxury, then we’ve still got “work to do”, we’re still not “there” yet.

The idea that if we’re not making consistent 5k / 10k / 20k / 100k months, then we’re not “there” yet.

The idea that if we get triggered or have an overly emotional reaction to something, then we’re not “healed” yet.

The idea that if we keep manifesting the same scenarios over and over again, that we haven’t “learned” yet.

There’s so much that we could learn if we wanted to, but the fact that we’re not choosing a particular avenue of learning doesn’t mean we’re bad or wrong or destined to live an unhealed life. It just means we’re choosing the current human experience we’re having. And that’s perfect (definitely not unhealed).

In fact, we’re always choosing the current human experience we’re having, whether conscious or otherwise. And here’s where people get REALLY CONFUSED, and I’d love the opportunity to set the record straight on something here:
Choosing your experience, and choosing the events of life are two completely different things.

A chosen experience does not equal a chosen event.

Events are inevitable.Experiences are chosen.

Events are, to an extent, out of our control. Experiences are completely within our control. This is the conversation the self-development and coaching industries have taken too far (I believe).

Here’s where it gets a little dark…

For many years I swore by the Law of Attraction, until I downloaded my own 11 Universal Laws, and since then I’ve moved further and further away from LoA, not least because it unwittingly teaches the use of only 1 energy body which always leads to burn out, because we have 10 we can be using instead (way more powerful), but also because it takes personal responsibility a touch too far to make any energetic sense.

Many spiritual teachings, including but not limited to the Law of Attraction, dictate that everything we “attract” in life we do so because we’re an “energetic match” for it. I 100% used to teach this because I believed it as truth, and to a point, it still is true, but there’s a depth and a nuance that sits underneath this that many don’t understand.

We’re an energetic match for HOW we experience something, but we can’t be an energetic match for WHAT the event is. It’s the event that in turn gives us the opportunity to choose our emotional and energetic response, and this in turn is how we create our own experiences.

For example, some dangerous Law of Attraction teachings will state that if you’ve been a victim to rape, that you were an “energetic match” to it, i.e. you’ve been in someway asking for it. This is where personal responsibility goes too far (for me at least, and I teach energetic intelligence).

Similarly, if you have to file for bankruptcy, many spiritual teachings will state you were an “energetic match” for it. But were you? What if bankruptcy was forced on you by the actions of another? The same over-simplified teachings are applied to a whole host of events including heart break, grief, loss, financial devastation. Even acts of nature are written off as “energetic matching”, and as good spiritual students that we are, we’re asked to see how we were an energetic match for these difficult events and “heal” ourselves of this energy so we’re no longer a match for it.

This is dangerous, and it’s unkind. It takes personal responsibility and spiritual teachings (which can be a radical life-changing teachings in the best of ways), and turns them into marketing weapons keeping people tied into the constant purchasing of programmes and coaching packages in a bid to heal themselves from the energies that don’t serve them.

I LOVE the self-development industry, and the spiritual journey I’ve been on in order to facilitate spiritual journeys for others, BUT, please can I remind you, this is about self-development, not self-denial & self-destruction.

You can’t claim 100% responsibility for everything in life. You’ll drive yourself mad wondering what you need to heal next. You were never broken to begin with! You are perfect just as you are.

You’re being handed events in life that you can call destiny, fate, random, unfortunate, blessed, or whatever other word you deem appropriate at the time. HOW you respond to those events… well that is where you get to create your own magic, and weave your own journey.

Being human does not require fixing. It certainly doesn’t require another hefty investment via a marketing spiel that has convinced you that you are broken, doing it wrong, or missing something!

You can CHOOSE to live life exactly as you are, and that’s perfect.

And you can CHOOSE to develop your self as your Soul is appropriately called to learn, immerse, evolve, and journey. And that’s perfect too.

Self-development and self-investment is an act of love & nourishment, hopefully led by excitement (also shows up as fear sometimes lol), curiosity, and a desire to experience more of this beautiful thing called life!

Please take this message with you and remind yourself next time you’re being convinced that there’s something wrong with your energy. Your energy is perfect for you for right now! Energy can never be bad or wrong. It’s just often very misunderstood!

All that said, if you’d like to come sit in my energetic intelligence classroom and learn more about the fabulousness that is you and your quantum field, then I’d be delighted to have you!

>>> Read more about M.O.R.E. here <<< (class 2 is on Thursday)

My love always,

P.S You’re also invited to the Premier of something very special, completely for free. Get your name on the guest list here.