From shame to gratitude
How are you?
As we enter into the final weeks of 2021, I was called to do something different, but something fitting of this time of year.
Last week I caught myself in a moment of frustration, a spiral that had been brewing for some time. Despite my enviable life I was trapped in stories of unworthiness, of not enough ness, and struggling to find even a whiff of gratitude.
I’m tired. It’s not an excuse but tiredness does give everything that extra edge of harshness.
I kept seeing fellow coaches on social media talking about how much they love their lives of freedom, being able to wake up without an alarm clock, start their day when they wanted to, long lie ins, 12 hour sleeps, and rising from silk sheets and silk eye masks to quiet coffee mornings with journals….
And honestly the green eyed monster in me RAGED!
Not because I don’t have a life of freedom, I absolutely do. I’ve been living the entrepreneur “do-whatever-I-like-when-I-
BUT, I also have two small children. Who are my WHOLE WORLD.
Holding baby Odin in my arms and breathing in his baby smell moves me to tears sometimes (that’s also probably the lack of sleep that has my eyes spontaneously producing water shows to rival Orlando Disney at the drop of a hat).
Hanging out with Ostara, playing play dough, watching Paw Patrol, and putting on pretend make up, is honestly enough to drive me nuts, until she drops a “mummy I love you” unexpectedly into a conversation about Barbie, and I fall in love all over again. My heart swells, my eyes well up (again), and the wholeness of life I feel in those moments is everything.
But life with two small children is exhausting.
Odin is currently going through the 4 month sleep regression and waking every 2 hours through the night. Ostara is half way through her first year at nursery and is bringing home coughs, colds, tummy bugs, and all kinds of germs pretty much every week.
Stephen and I are walking zombies. It’s hard, it’s really hard.
And my exhaustion has been taking the shine off life.
So last week, in my moment of frustration at myself, I reached out to a group coaching programme I’m in to share my shame. I realised I’d been scared to share in there for fear of being judged (I’m a karma 4 so fear of judgement is a big life dance that I’m here to learn).
Shame that I’ve got everything I want in life and it’s still “not enough”.
Shame that I’ve got the most beautiful children in the world, who fill me with so much love, and yet all I could focus on was the lack of sleep, the baby-sick-stained everything, the germs, the tears & tantrums, the lack of time available to do all the things I wanted to do, and to take care of me first.
Shame that my coaching company has only grown 10% this year on last year.
Shame that I allowed myself to take 3 months of the year off to have a baby and be with that baby, because perhaps if I hadn’t done that I would have grown the company more.
Shame that I allowed a horrible situation with clients who took to social media to slander me to slow me down and dim my light.
Shame that I couldn’t find gratitude for my seriously incredible life.
Shame that despite only working a few hours a day, I couldn’t find the gratitude in the fact that I run a 7-figure empire ONLY WORKING A FEW HOURS A DAY.
Shame that I couldn’t appreciate that everything I have now is everything I once wanted.
Shame that I want for nothing, and yet I still felt unfulfilled (or rather ungrateful).
Shame that I still haven’t brought any of my books to life, despite having written one over 3 years ago, with many more still floating in idea form.
Shame that I hadn’t yet brought my biggest Soul mission into actuality yet… to build an education foundation which will completely revolutionise how our children are taught & educated.
Shame. Shame. Shame.
And in sharing that shame, some beautiful things started to happen.
The outpouring of love I received from women in that coaching group melted me a little. I smiled. I’m not the only one (we never are btw).
The share sparked a conversation with an old coach of mine, Joanna Hunter, my first ever business coach as it happens. She mirrored for me where I was lacking in gratitude, and suggested I start a gratitude practice of my own, perhaps in one of my coaching containers.
But how to choose?! I love all my clients and containers equally!
And the Ask H style isn’t to do anything by halves anyway (lol), when we do something, we do it BIG!
So, I’m inviting every single one of you reading this into a free gratitude challenge, from now until the end of the year.
And my very simple, yet powerful intention for you is this:
- That you experience magic every day, in small ways, and sometimes in big ways
- That this isn’t a gratitude practice like all the previously half-baked ones you’ve done before
- That you meet kindred spirits through your sharing (we have communities on three different social platforms)
- That you end the year feeling more whole, more complete, and more present in “this moment”, whatever that moment is for you, and we reduce our anxiety & frustration-inducing timeline hoping in which we become too hung up on the past or the future
Something else which has been battering me around the head all year, is my obsession with numbers… the number of people signed up to a free event, the number of people on the mailing list, the number of followers on social media, the financial number I reach at the end of the month… numbers numbers numbers.
And frankly I’m sick of it, because numbers aren’t a marker of success. How I FEEL is a marker of success (I will inevitably rant more about this on a livestream this month).
There is a signup page if you’d like to get on our email list for this challenge, BUT you don’t have to, because all the information is on this landing page (linked below), and this page will be updated regularly with shares, ideas, videos, free trainings, conversations, insights, tools, & all the things you might possibly need to help you ramp up your gratitude game:
I will NOT be tracking numbers or sharing how many people are signed up as a FOMO tool to freak others into joining. This is an invitation from my heart, not from a marketing spin.
That said, we WILL be giving away prizes throughout the month (just because we can and we want to, not for any other reason).
We’ve called the challenge the “ask Gratitude” challenge, for obvious reasons, but also because I firmly believe that the answer to most things can be found when we tap into gratitude, and ask ourselves in and from a place of gratitude to lead us to the answers we seek.
We have a giphy on Instagram! If you search for “ask gratitude” you will find it 🙂
On Instagram, I am @ask_harriette < please come say hi there if IG is your jam
On facebook, we have a free Facebook group which is the perfect place to share what’s coming up for you and reach out for help. The Ask H team & coaches are always in there to lend an ear or some advice. Join us here: https://www.facebook.com/
We are also on a brand new, conscious AF social media channel which is a completely uncensored, voice-driven app, and being built by friends of mine. It’s already available to download on all UK app stores, search for TannOi, and if you’re outside of the UK you can simply drop the Ask H team an email and request a link to join us.
You’ll find me on TannOi as Harriette Jackson. Come say hey!
Wherever you are in life, whatever you’re up to, however you’re feeling, I know that a little more gratitude in life can make a whole load of difference.
If you think you can carve out a little time to join us for #askGratitude, I’d love nothing more than to serve you daily from now until the end of the year (yes I will even be going live on Christmas day… should probably inform my family though haha!).
This is my gift to you.
This is my way of saying THANK YOU FOR MY INCREDIBLE LIFE
This is my way of saying THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE IS BEAUTIFUL
This is my way of saying NOTHING ELSE MATTERS IN THE MOMENTS OF GRATITUDE
This is my way of saying IT’S ALL AS IT IS MEANT TO BE
This is my way of opening my heart to you, inviting you in a little bit closer, and saying, hey, I know we might not know each other very well, but I love you (yes really), and I’d love to get to know you more.
I hope to see you on one of the social media platforms, please send a message to let me know you’ve read this and you’re joining us for gratitude (or not if that’s not a vibe for you right now).
I’ll be sharing every single day, either via livestreams, or emails, but either way I’ll ensure a big dollop of love served up on a platter of gratitude will be reaching you somehow.
My love always