Boundaries, Reaching, Receiving & Discernment

Soul Fam,


Another pouring straight from the heart. I opened yesterday’s M.O.R.E. call with this statement “being human is bloody tough”, and it is. 


You guys look to me to have it all figured out. I don’t. I’m not perfect, I often get things wrong, but I am obsessed with leaning, learning, and then sharing what comes through for me, in an effort to serve, impact and transform. 


I’m a path 11 which for me means a life long journey on the path of spiritual leadership, relationships, and boundaries(FYI you have 5 numbers in a Priestess Numerology chart, but don’t get me started because I won’t stop… something else I’m obsessed with).


My coaches, guides, teachers, and mirrors in my life have been calling me up on my boundaries for YEARS. Boundaries in my professional relationships, personal relationships, client relationships, relationship with myself (especially in regard to self care), family relationships, and even friendships. 


Over the years I’ve become clearer and firmer with all but the key one… client relationships and boundaries. (Key because my clients pretty much demand my full time attention.)


I have blurred those boundaries like an over-zealous photoshop artist. Always over-giving, over-delivering, under-charging, responding to messages late at night, early mornings, weekends, listening to stupidly long voice notes where it’s out of integrity to do so (despite me advising my own clients never to do this), extending access to programmes, extending payment plans where it’s out of integrity to do so, and allowing clients too far in to my personal energy, often to my own detriment. 


My clients mean to the world to me. I will bend over backwards for them, and if I can’t fix something for them, I’ll search high and low to find the person / book / resource who CAN help them. I’ll put myself out of pocket financially, I’ll put off meals, cancel my me-time, and even listen to voice notes whilst sat on the loo (yup I’m that addicted). 


I have moments of really pulling my boundaries in, putting myself first, not taking shit from anyone, and demanding the respect I know I deserve. 


And then, like every human being, those boundaries falter and slide occasionally…. at which point the people in my support team will call me out on it massively. Simon’s favourite phrase is “Harriette, you’re not walking your talk”. And damn he’s right. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.


Yesterday I took my business and my sovereignty up a huge level and declared a massive boundary. 


This morning, reflecting on my power reclamation and the after-effects with Simon in session, he said “you’re walking your talk, and that doesn’t work for some people, especially those who benefitted from you having weaker boundaries.”


And then he challenged me on my lack of discernment in the first place and for not listening to myself, trusting myself, and honouring my power. Gah. ? 


(Side note: I understand why so many people run away from working with a coach, those mirrors can be a BITCH to look in, and I’m right there with those of you that do it!)


When we blur and void our own boundaries, we reach outside of our own energy. This is an act of dishonouring the Self. We reach out to pull someone or something in, and if we reach too far, we go beyond our own boundaries. 


When we honour our boundaries, keeping them in tact through deep self honouring, we open the door, for the someone’s and the something’s to walk themselves in. No reaching is required. 


Boundaries can be tricky, because we THINK we’re being nice, being the good girl, doing all the right things to keep everyone happy, and not saying the things that might upset the people, but if those actions are out of integrity with our greatest highest good, then we lose the power of discernment, and without discernment we can’t see what we’re doing, and we lose trust in ourselves. 


Losing trust in ourselves is one of the most detrimental acts of self sabotage. 


However when boundaries are honoured, even if it means risking not being liked, we maintain our discernment, our self trust, and all that does not serve us falls away because it can no longer get through the impenetrable boundary of TRUST. 


And here’s the thing, our boundaries are as unique and individual as we are. Not everyone is going to agree with them, just like not everyone is going to like you, and that’s completely OK. It might feel unsafe but it only feels unsafe because it’s unknown. We gradually get more comfortable in our increasing trust, self-honouring, discernment, and fiercer boundaries. 


If there’s one thing falling back in love with the masculine has shown me, it’s that boundaries are there to support us, not restrict us, or reject others. 


In yesterday’s M.O.R.E. class (it was a really good class), I was regaling the students with stories of matriarchal times gone by, where the feminine was the conduit for money. SHE was the breadwinner, the decision maker, the ruler & leader, and the masculine provided the structures and boundaries for her magic to expand within.

Feminine energy without masculine structures & support is akin to a river breaking its banks and wishy washing all over the damn place. Water is only powerful when it has a container to focus its flow.

The flow of water has carved great caverns in the earth, some of nature’s most breathtaking masterpieces. SHE is the water, and HE is the rock. SHE is the power, HE is the support & structure. When we marry both SHE and HE within us, both masculine and feminine, we can be our own support, and our own power. We become sovereign, unwavering, a force to be reckoned with, and a power that has one focus, one direction, and one very clear set of riverbanks (or boundaries). 


And just like nature… because we are human, we will occasionally break our own river banks, and make a big watery mess, but we can always choose to pull our energy back in to the banks that hold us strong and sovereign. We can trust our river banks. We can trust our power, our flow, and our sovereignty. 


Your river isn’t for everyone to play in, and that’s OK too. All rivers lead to the same vast expanse of oneness and Unity. 


If you’d like to join me in a free Goddess Circle next week, I’m hosting a free one online, Thursday 25th February at 4pm UK time. It’s completely free. No sign up required. Just click this link to add it to your google calendar:


Doors to my School of Mastery also open next week so keep your eyes peeled for that! 


Until the next big healing & heart pouting of mine (they are coming thick and fast this week), stay sovereign. 


My love always


Harriette x